Monthly Archives: August 2014

Simple pleasures

“The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us” (Ashley Montagu)

It’s funny when happiness comes to visit. This morning has been unbridled happiness for me, I feel that glow, that smile that comes to my lips, that serenity. Its got me to thinking why exactly am I feeling this. That is an interesting question in itself because do I really want to demystify the magic around the feeling, or in fact however hard I try, I am capable of doing that. In spite of that, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to replicate it.

First its important to look at my morning, what have I done, what are the triggers. I had a lovely evening the night before. I woke up at 7 am, I decided this was way too early for a weekend, and for once managed to tell myself to doze for an hour. It worked. I then got out of bed, pondering whether to go up to the market to get a coffee, decided against it and cooked myself two bacon sandwiches and made a cup of tea. I then decided to eat these sandwiches on my balcony, whilst checking out my plants. I’ve been wondering about some hops I planted about 6 weeks ago, I’ve seen something sprouting in the pot, but thought they were weeds. I decided to google what they should look like and hey presto, they are hops. I finished my tea and finished the chapter of my book i’d started reading last night whilst sitting outside.

I then decided I needed to enjoy the weather so I headed out to Yarraville on my bicycle. The route takes me along the Maribyrnong river. My purpose was to head to the home brew shop and pick up some supplies. Whilst there I met a friend who works there. I had a couple of samples of the beers on tap, then I cycled home.

In all this sounds a pretty mundane story, however there must be something there to make me feel so happy this morning.

I can break it down as follows, the first one it seems is creation. The hops I’d planted six weeks ago, I’d had little hope they would come up but today was the day I chose to see whether what I thought was a weed was a weed. It wasn’t. So the first part of this puzzle is creation, I love creating things. When i figured out they were hops, that gave me a buzz.

Secondly I think is sensory. This morning is beautiful, the sky is blue the sun is out. This prompted me to hop on my bike and head down to Yarraville. I didn’t particularly need anything I just felt like going to enjoy the weather. Is there a better feeling that the sun on you. The warmth on your body from its glow. Also for as long as I can remember, I’ve been drawn to water, it gives me a feeling of space of openness. The mixture of the sun and the water, are sensory treats to me. The glint of the sun on the water itself, truly is a beautiful sight. Its funny once you begin to see beauty around you, its a snowball effect, it opens your eyes to others things you’ve never seen before.

Thirdly, its exercise or travel. I can view travel or exercise as purely practical (this is how I view food sometimes), however this morning, instead of peddling hard to my destination, I sat back, and just enjoyed my sedentary pace. Loving the feeling of slowness, knowing I was heading somewhere but in no rush to get there.

Fourthly its friendship. I ran into a friend of mine at the shop I went to, although just a brief encounter and sharing only a few words it made me feel part of a society, a community of people. That’s all about inclusion and belonging.

Lastly I had a purpose. The purpose was to go the shop, and I have a greater purpose this weekend of things I’m doing with people who are important to me in my life. So as well as being happy in the moment, I’m also happily looking forward to the time ahead.

I’m not sure if that breaks down the magic because I’m really not sure I ever could. Enjoying that pure happiness in the moment, is an intense and wonderful feeling and one I’m learning to welcome in and savour so much more than I ever used to. Here’s to a beautiful weekend.

IJS 23/08/2014

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Memories

These streets hold so many memories. Memories of partners past, happy times, sad times, indifferent times. It’s like I’m being haunted from afar. Forced to watch my life replay in my mind over and over again. Reminding me of what I’ve lost and what I’ll never have again.

My memory is a treasure as well as a curse. It recalls moments from history, that should be lost. It recalls hearing my mother singing ‘Video killed the Radio Star’, one of my only childhood memories really. But it also recalls evil words, arguments and things that I regret and I’d like to forget.

Its funny in spite of that, I’d hate to leave this city, the only place I’ve ever felt truly at home in my whole life. I’ve built myself a family here, a family of amazing friends who’ve supported me through the rough times and celebrated with me during my golden ages.

I feel old at times and weary. I already feel like I’ve lived so many lives but never quite attained the happiness I’m truly seeking. Or alternatively I find that happiness and let it slip through my fingers into the abyss, never to be seen again. Only to be enjoyed for a fleeting moment, and then have those memories haunt me reminding me of what life could have been.

The problem with us as humans beings seems to be we can never quite be happy or content with what we’ve got and I don’t even mean constantly happy, just happy for a minute or two in the moment. We’re always searching for the next thing, but much like Christmas presents as a child, the beauty is all in the anticipation not in the actual present itself. Once we attain it, we give ourselves very little time to enjoy it before we start all over again in search of the next thing that we think will make us happy.

IJS 13/08/2014